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REPORT: Vegans Walking ‘Cabbages’ Instead of Dogs in Trend to Cure Depression

Psychiatrist allegedly points out "mental health benefits" of walking with the pet replacement

Lionel Du Cane by Lionel Du Cane
February 6, 2020
0
REPORT: Vegans Walking ‘Cabbages’ Instead of Dogs in Trend to Cure Depression
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A new trend has reportedly emerged where young vegan adults, instead of walking a pet such as a cat or a dog, take cabbages for walks on a leash.

The new cabbage-walking trend has turned a few heads as well as capturing the attention of international outlets.

Spanish Dog Lover website Lomunidad found the practice rather amusing, but signaled, according to psychiatrist Wen Chao, that the trend may carry health benefits for those involved.

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Chao said, “It’s a wonderful anti-stress therapy, given that walking cabbages over dogs is a win-win.”

He continued, “The idea is simple: you feel as lonely and as simple as a cabbage, so you begin to act like one and befriend one. And in that acceptance comes change.”

A vegan student said, “It’s a way by which depression and loneliness can be escaped; I feel free, I feel unchained–going for a walk with [the cabbage] makes me feel fully recharged.”

Another student added, “If the cabbage arrives home in good condition, I just wash it off and serve it for dinner–we’re left wanting more!”

A third student, seventeen-year-old Lui Ja Chen said, “When I see another cabbage walker, it’s easy to strike up a conversation. Cabbages are better than dogs as they don’t bark or start fights with the other vegetables.”

According to Perez Hilton, Chen continued, “It doesn’t need feeding or leave a mess on the pavement. In fact, afterwards, I can throw the cabbage away and feel that I have tossed my feelings out with it.”

Last year, National File reported on anti-speciesist transfeminists who segregated roosters and hens at a Spanish farm because they believed the birds couldn’t consent to sex and were, therefore, being raped.

Tags: Cultural MarxismVegans
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Lionel Du Cane

Lionel Du Cane

He is the author of The Clowning of America: Woke Capital, Con Inc, & Meme Culture and A Matter of Time: How Time Preferences Make or Break Civilization - a book on how healthy societies view the concept of time .. If you enjoy his work, you can tip him on Kofi or support him on Patreon.

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