New York Times Publishes Gushing 600 Word Review Of Joe Biden's $7,000 Rolex Watch


In an article that some consider unbecoming of The Grey Lady, the New York Times published a glowing fashion review of Joe Biden’s decision to wear a $7,000 Rolex watch on his wrist during his inauguration.

The Times breathlessly notes, “At his inauguration, Mr. Biden laid his hand on the family Bible wearing a stainless steel Rolex Datejust watch with a blue dial, a model that retails for more than $7,000 and is a far cry from the Everyman timepieces that every president not named Trump has worn conspicuously in recent decades.”

The Times notes that most modern presidents have opted for watches their constituents might actually be able to afford, and have shied away from expensive watches that may signify a disconnect between the president and the people he supposedly represents. Instead of slamming Biden for his elitist choice in time pieces, the Times seemingly lauds Biden for taking the United States back to the 1950s and 1960s, when President Ike Eisenhower and President Lyndon B. Johnson wore expensive time pieces for their official portraits.

“Shouldn’t the leader of the free world wear a power watch befitting his position?” the Times mused, before noting “Never mind that it costs the equivalent of dozen or so stimulus checks.”

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They add that the concept of an elitist president flexing his wealth “was widely accepted once, back when Dwight D. Eisenhower and Lyndon B. Johnson posed guiltlessly for Oval Office portraits wearing gold Rolexes.”

After noting that Presidents Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama all wore affordable timepieces, the Times seems to celebrate Biden for breaking the tradition, suggesting the $7,000 watch is a logical choice for a “centrist” president.

This may come as a shock, but Mr. Trump shattered those norms. He remained on-brand during his term, flashing mogul-worthy gold (what else?) watches by Patek Philippe, Rolex, and Vacheron Constantin.

Which brings us to Mr. Biden, who seems to balance both horological sensibilities (how centrist of him) and is unafraid to show off his haute Swiss watches, all stainless steel, including his Rolex, an Omega Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional and Omega Seamaster Diver 300M both of which retail for around $5,000 or $6,000.

The article, ostensibly still a fashion review, ends with a gushing endorsement of Biden’s wrist wear.

“Whether a conscious fashion statement or not, the high-end, but macho, watches suggest that, even at 78, this former high school football star of the Kennedy years still wants to be seen as a he-man, rugged and young at heart,” the Times gushed.

The Times also noted that Joe Biden is from Scranton, Pennsylvania. The median annual income for a household living in Scranton is approximately $40,000, meaning Biden is wearing a watch that constitutes nearly 20% of the average person living in his home town’s annual income.

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